In case you missed it: Kings center Jarret Stoll was arrested at the MGM Grand pool in Las Vegas, last Friday, on suspicion of felony possession of cocaine and Ecstasy. To his credit, his mugshot game is on point though…

capitals fire

Anyways, this isn’t the first time a professional athlete has been arrested for drug possession/driving while under the influence/soliciting prostitution/doing Vegas-y things in Vegas. That’s not the reason why this is a story — rather: it’s because his girlfriend is the Queen Goddess of Planet Earth, often referred to as ‘Erin Andrews’ by mere mortals…

…and if this clip from last night’s Dancing with the Stars is any indication….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0jKvq-lpok

…Jarret may or may not be in Erin’s doghouse.

If you listen closely, you can hear Andrews asking the contestant what she typically does on spring break, and the contestant responds by saying she usually stays home and watches movies. Andrew’s response: “There’s nothing wrong with that … I feel like some other people should learn from you” is all of the LOLs.

Subtweet City, Population: Jarret Stoll.

As for Jarret, can we talk a second about him getting busted? What are you doing, bro?

The Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department arrest report for Stoll was released yesterday — and it details that he “consented to a voluntary pat-down upon entrance to the Wet Republic Pool by security,” a search THAT WAS ADVERTISED AND POSTED ON A SIGN AT THE POOL ENTRANCE. The security guard, according to the report, “found an off-white powder in two pink baggies, small baggies, he recognized as contraband, also a clear plastic baggie containing numerous gel-caps with an off-white powder inside the caps”, and the baggies were found “in the right, back pocket of Stoll’s swimsuit shorts.”

You make $3.5 Million a year, and you’re telling me you can’t afford to hire some minion to hold your drugs for you in the event you get busted and potentially have your contract terminated? How about maybe putting them in your shoe? That’s how every single college kid sneaks airplane bottles into home football games, and it’s been working for decades — not like you have anything to lose financially, let alone at home…

In conclusion: Current Stoll/Andrews Relationship Status: If she were to cut him open with a Samurai sword, Jarret better be like: “It’s ok, baby, my favorite color is red.”

P.S. EA probably doesn’t even care about the drugs, more so about Jarret allowing Marshall Henderson to finally get his revenge because TWITTER NEVER FORGETS

https://twitter.com/NativeFlash22/status/355101219636789248

https://twitter.com/NativeFlash22/status/590042033286320128