We’ve covered the Top 10 Foods for July 4th but what about all the activities?!? Let’s make some room for ALL of them and craft the best BBQ ever huh? Fireworks and shooting M-16’s were left off the list because danger. Top 10 Backyard Games Fire Away!
It’s an old standby, like a REALLY old standby. I’m not hating here but I’m definitely not loving either. Easily the worst cookout game and it’s not even close. Takes forever to set up and the gameplay is slow as molasses. Honestly every image on Google for Bocce/Croquet was solely old people literally begging to be taken off Earth. Hard pass.
9) Polish Horseshoes
Undeniably fun game, for like 4 throws. Wind always knocks the bottle off and aside from a few cool diving plays, it’s the most boring game possible. Also you always need to keep a hand free and that really really kills the blackout by 3 pm vibes. Need those in the worst way
8) Squirt Gun Fights
Hard to put something on the list that doesn’t exist anymore BUT I’M GONNA ANYWAY. Being a 90’s kid is the most amazing thing for infinity reasons… and one of those was Nerf Squirt Gun fights. Water bazookas, Water grenades, Water machine guns, Water flamethrowers… there was no limit to your personal arsenal. Unfortunately Nerf makes negative squirt guns now and kids hate being outside more than anything in life. Still a fantastic way to feed that childlike wonder for the rest of us Croquet players.
7) Ladder Golf
One of my favorite games and probably should be higher on the list but similar to Polish Horseshoes, YA NEED A FREE HAND. When July 4th comes around a free hand is the worst possible situation to be in. There should be two drinks, or drink/food, or drink/fireworks, or food/fireworks, or drink/puppy, or food/flag in your hands AT ALL TIMES. Ladder Golf is fun enough that I’ll endure the 15 minutes I’m naked out there but can’t do a whole day of that.
6) Dizzy Bat
Booze, Baseball Bats, and Brawn. Everything America was founded on in one succinct game. Not just a test of endurance but oh so many skills. As you get older this is the BEST possible way to show you can still hang with the cool kids. If you step up to do it don’t you dare puke though. Immediately sent to the Croquet area bruh.
5) Slip N’ Slide
TARP. SOAP. HUMANS. SMILES. (Everyone Falling Into Each Other) Boom done! Bonus points to whoever gets hurt by the mystery rock hidden underneath. Gonna be a great story for next year’s cookout.
Easily could’ve been #1 but it’s too standard to be considered the best cookout game. Having a custom set/multiple boards can go a long way in making this the soul of the party. However most of the time you’re holding or collecting bean bags so again, sucks for actually partying.
Drinking in a hammock > running around trying to grab feelings out of meaningless yard games. Literally every time.
The only game I will enter my two hands in with a smile. Super fun scoring, awesome teammate dynamic, sweet disc flicks; Kanjam has it all. Someday it’ll become as boring as cornhole but that day hasn’t come yet. Also yelling “JAM IT BABY” is so freakin fun to do at crowded parties.
If you wanna do anything other than get liquored up and jump in a giant moonbounce, you’re doing it all wrong. It’s exactly what America was founded for and each bounce is essentially like spitting in King George’s eye. And I like that.
Got some games I missed? BEER PONG BRO! Hit me up on Twitter and lemme know ya turkeys