The ballots are in — the people have spoken, and if we’re being quite frank around here: the voters were 14,227 submissions away from breaking the internet and having the city of San Antonio secede from the United States.

To elaborate, here are the Western Conference starters and their vote totals:

NBA East All Star

NBA West All Star

NBA All Star Votes

ZAZA ALMOST STARTED FOR THE WESTERN CONFERENCE INSTEAD OF KAWHI LEONARD. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. USA vs. USSR Miracle on Ice? The Immaculate Reception? The Music City Miracle? This legitimately would have gone down as the biggest upset in sports history. Unfortunately for Zaza fans, close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

To give you an idea of “how the tables have turned…”

and how popular Kobe is with the mainstream audience…

This game gonna be damn awesome.

P.S. PORZINGIS.

PP.S. Where is Boban?