Nick Night at the Hive. I repeat: NICK NIGHT AT THE HIVE.

Who needs Mitchell & Ness when you got throwback Nickelodeon characters/mascots like Rugrats, Doug, Rocko’s Modern Life, Hey Arnold, etc running around the court.

It wasn’t just a promotion, during halftime: THEY PLAYED A GAME OF DOUBLE-DARE!!!!


GAHHHHH THE MEMORIES. No words can describe these feelings. There was nothing and I mean NOTHING like coming home from middle school at 3 O’Clock on a Friday just in time for the Quadruple Header of Wild & Crazy Kids, Double Dare, Legends of the Hidden Temple, and Global Guts. Nightmares of Olmec’s temple guards kidnapping me. Mike O’Malley screaming: “Let’s go to Moe for the results — MOE!!!!”. The Green Slime. GAK. POGS. TAMAGOTCHIS. SEGA GENESIS. MARIO KART. NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL MUSIC CDS. SNEAKING INTO AMERICAN PIE MOVIES. EVERYTHING IS AWESOME RIGHT NOW TAKE ME BACK.

In all seriousness though if they ever brought in the Aggrocrag to an NBA arena — there is nothing you can do to stop me. Shoot me with tasers. Hose me down with Pepper Spray. There is literally no substance on this Earth that can prevent me from getting to the top of that mountain and taking home a piece of that glow-in-the-dark mountain. I will pay $500 for a nose bleed ticket just to participate. I know you all would too. How is the NBA not doing this? Goldmine.