In the latest twist of the FIFA scandal, former FIFA official Chuck Blazer – you know the guy with the Manhatten apartment just for his cats – was running a wire on his FIFA buddies since 2013. That’s two years of direct evidence piled up on Blatter and his cronies. And withthat much time and evidence piled up, it’s going to be very, very hard for these guys to not go down.
According to a story on Goal.com, Blazer pled to 10 charges and in return for leniency he rolled on his FIFA friends going all the way back to 2011. This includes a lot of the evidence used to indict a soccer squad of FIFA’s major officals earlier this summer.
My initial reaction to the latest twist is simple – I expected cray-cray with a light cray-cray sauce served broiled with a side of cray-cray. Frankly, I’m waiting for an Opus Dei connection to surface with some link to a Warlord in Sub-Sahara Africa. So, I’ve got popcorn at the ready and here’s a couple of quick hints for the made for TV movie plot.
If anyone understands the components to a spy movie, then the only thing we are missing is volcano lair to go along with the FIFA scandal. And I wouldn’t doubt that Sepp Blatter has one tucked away somewhere. Now all we need is some strange cabal to steal all the “unobtainium” in the world…nope, no good, that was Avatar. I think a hack of all the cargo ships at sea might do the trick…wait, they did that in Hackers. Or maybe we could try the whole hack the world’s financial system in order to….wait no, they did that in Swordfish. Wait! They did it to steal all the money from a vault in a Vegas casino! No, that was the Oceans Trilogy. Maybe they could try and make the whole world go crazy in some ridiculous plot to reduce the world population in the name of global warming? Nope, that was the Kingsmen.
Maybe that’s the key. FIFA tried so hard to get so corrupted that they ran out of movie plot ideas. Perhaps this is just another remake of an old idea. In that case, my money is on The Constant Gardener. So, FIFA, I give up. I’m going to stop doubting the absurd level of your corruption and just go with the flow. What do you have next? Because it can’t be any worse than the plots to James Bond films, right?
Till next time, never doubt a Sicilian when death is on the line.