Announced with a whisper and via Sports Illustrated and Sportsnet, the 2022 FIFA World Cup will be held in a Middle Eastern version of New Jersey during the two winter months.

Read the previous in this light, “an Qatarian version of Al Pacino bought himself a world wide soccer tournament from FIFA.

According to sources the 2022 World Cup will take place during November and December. This is currently a recommendation and the FIFA Executive Committee has yet to make it final. But they likely will. (Que-up Frenchy sounding guttural laughing noises.)

In addition to funk ball design, FIFA is also known for grabbing the rest of the World by their proverbial balls and getting exactly what it wants because it is FIFA and nobody disrespects the FIFA!
In addition to funky ball designs, FIFA is also known for grabbing the rest of the World by their proverbial balls and getting exactly what it wants because it is FIFA and nobody disrespects the FIFA!

Let that sink in. And remember, generally Soccer (Football/Futbol/Futball) is generally played in winter months in Europe. Not only is this the beginning stages when a team is either starting to get some traction in the highly competitive English Premier League. FIFA’s answer seems to be, “let them eat cake” or the English translation of “meh.” There are rumblings that the EPL will just take a four week break. What a pile!

Sure, a four week break for half – if not the vast majority – of the EPL players are to travel toward the land of the burning sun; remain poppin’-fresh; and give the soccer loving world what it wants every World Cup – competition. Call me crazy but the futures for the 2022 FIFA World Cup are trending down on my board.

Winter temperatures hover near 85 degrees Fahrenheit in the sandy wasteland of Qatar. And when I call Qatar a “sandy wasteland,” I’m being generous. During the summer the temperature rises past “stab-you-because-its-friggin’-hot” and hovers right around “boil-me-to-death-for-stealing-a-loaf-of-bread-because-that’s-considered-more-humane-punishment” heat.

Right when all the best players in the world are going to be hitting their stride in their full-time and paying jobs, Qatar and FIFA will come a’knocking and attempt to whisk them away to some desert land. Does it sound like a fine idea? Sure, who wouldn’t like a little winter vacation to a warmer climate. Fat Americans do it all the time. We call it Florida. I just got back from there.

But Professional Soccer Superstars with multi-million dollar contracts and paychecks to match may think twice when the glamour of World Cup competition when faced with the stark reality of not drawing the six-to-seven figure paycheck they would normally get from their bosses. Yes, that’s right unless the players country pays them a fee or bonus there is no paycheck coming from the home team. In short, life is tough for an international soccer god. He’s got bills to pay. All those mansions, flashy cars, supermodel girlfriends, and baby-mama’s don’t pay for themselves.

According to the report by Sports Illustrated, only one European league is likely to be impacted. That one little league is very likely to be a wry band of merry little teams who play in the EPL. This is likely to hair-lip the owners of the EPL, who just might push back against the respective national soccer associations when they come hat-in-hand to take the best players mid-season. If I were an EPL owner or manager, I’d be hesitant to let my best players take off for four weeks and break out of the mindset and practice of my club’s style. I’d even be worried about my player coming back from afar and remaining healthy enough to rejoin the ranks when they get back from World Cup play. Let’s not forget, players get hurt when they play. It’s just the nature of the game. Remember Ronaldo’s knee this past World Cup? Dare I say Real Madrid’s owners and management were breathing heavy each time he looked a bit wobbly on the pitch in Brasil.

I know FIFA is throwing it’s clout around like a drunken sailor during Mardi-Gras, but this has to stop. Somebody outta stand up to those piggy-flubs for being so damn good at getting exactly what they want without any blow-back. Somebody outta really give them another gigantic bag of money for fleecing the rest of the world and whoring out the love of soccer.

But it won’t.

We will watch it.

We will suffer through the endless stories about the heat. The polished promo pieces about Qatar and its masterful control of the heat and technological advances in air conditioning for the new stadiums. And the stories about how accommodating the clubs were to allow their prized athletes to join their national teams to compete in the glorious and “beautiful game.”

(*Fart noises*)

Yeah, that’s closest thing I have to hot air right now and just about all I have to say on the topic.

Until next time, trust your gut and follow me @deepdfspicks.