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Chicago is well known for their deep dish pizza and now they can add deeply disturbing pizza to the list as well. Punky’s Pizza and Pasta serves these creations on gamedays only and they arrive uncut. No point in getting a creepy Indian head unless you’re gonna raise your selfie game right? I’m sure Blackhawk fans eat this up and love it but I’m more scared than excited. Plus it’s probably the most awkward thing possible to eat. Either getting a bite of pure olives or a weird piece you have to tear off haphazardly. Pizza is meant to be eaten not scalped. PASS

Roman candle fights on the other hand are one of the great universal activities we have on Earth. Cheap, fun, extremely safe. And most importantly, simple. Spark your candle, point it at the very bad people, LIGHT EM UP. The real trick is buying whistlers or some higher grade black market candle that puts the fear of Dixie in their bones. Nothing gets the juices flowing quite like a sparkling fireball wizzing by your face. Picking a crowded street with cops driving by is a weird place to do it but can’t knock the Windy City hustle. If you want the ultimate you’ve got to be willing to pay the ultimate price. It’s not tragic getting your clothes burned off by a $2 stick of gunpowder.

 

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