HEEEEEELLLLLLLLOOOOOOOO SPORTS FANS!!!!!!!!!

Yes, it’s time. Time for another edition of your favorite WEEKLY SPORTS TIME MACHINE!!!

Let’s get started.

Canadian Football is in full swing up north. It’s similar to American Football. They use a ball, pads, basically the same rules with a few additions. But more importantly they also have…FAT GUY TOUCHDOWNS!!!!

Deadspin’s Screengrabber tossed up a Fat Guy Touchdown alert earlier this week that You need to see. Because a fat guy scoring a touchdown is a special occasion and needs to be celebrated.

The NBA Summer League is gaining momentum and Karl-Anthony Towns is going to be a beast…and yes, everything looks cooler in slow motion.

Slow motion makes everything better.

Now for baseball stuff that really isn’t news, but is fun to watch.

Life has choices. You can choose to go after it or take another route. Go hard or go home, even for the home run souvenir ball, like this Giants fan earlier this week.

Now for the dugout clip of the week…Pirates Infielder Jung Ho Kang busted out the gangnam style this week. Ride that pony, Kang.

Yeah, just a quick game of catch in Cincy this past Thursday…with the lady-mascot for the club.

That takes some serious skills to catch while wearing that gigantic mascot head.

I’m hungry. Yardbarker drops the knowledge on the next evolution in ballpark gastronomical excess. The Big Bad Wolf can be had at the Brooklyn Cyclones home games and might be worth the price of admission. According to the menu description, it is a provolone stuffed chorizo with pulled BBQ pork and 1/4 slab cut of smoked bacon. To wit, I responded with…

Rounding out the baseball news with a good old fashioned slip and fall…by a ball boy….Thanks be to Deadspin for the clip.

Following the old-fashioned slip and fall sounds I have rattling around in my head after watching the clip, I think the kid is safe but needs to work on his slide in the off-season.

Last Sunday, the United States Women’s National Soccer team demolished the Japanese Women’s team 5-2 to win their third all-time World Cup; a magnificent victory. And this week the team has been the toast of the country with numerous appearances and celebrations. The girls even got a ticker-tape parade in New York City.

As momentum built for the Women in the tournament, an old chant resurfaced that was used for the Men’s team in their world cup in Brazil. I believe that we will win. The girls took that and turned it on its head.

I believe that we just won. You go girls.

Now for the baddest baller story of the week. Three-time Olympic Champion Keri Walsh is a profession beach volleyball player and this week she took it to the next level. During a match against a Brazillian team, Walsh dislocated her shoulder while trying to spike the ball. The video below shows her crumpling to the sand in pain. Did the match stop? No. She pulled a “Rocky” moment out and had her trainer pop it back into place. Normal human beings would have thrown in the towel. Not Keri. She stayed in the match and came back to beat the Brazilians.

Here’s Keri Walsh explaining her magnificence.

She essentially went all Beastmode on the sand and finished it off all like.

I’ve set my DVR for the next women’s beach volleyball tournament. That’s all for this week’s edition. Till next time, I believe we just won.

@deepdfspicks