It’s been seven whole days without you, dear reader. 168 hours. 10,080 minutes…and like a…why am I googling that?

It’s time for sports.

What you missed.

Te-Ja-Da. In-side-Da-Park. Home-Run.


Rocky be like…

The real genius was the Karate Kid Crane stance.

Then there was baseball…

That’s right, ripping the cover off the ball is just a turn of phrase, Tobias.

And when Jose Bautista tells you to slide. You. Slide.

And he’s safe. All hail, Bautista.

This photogenic smile while sliding. Donaldson! Home!


Hassan Whiteside is tall.

What you wish you missed.

Look, I’m a Giants fans. But, does Eli really need his own hype vine? That’s like getting excited about a cold ham and mustard sandwich. Wait, that sounds kinda good right now. Does that mean…wait…oh no, it does.


And now for the latest from Houston Texans training camp.

His gravitas is the only thing holding this world together. May we never stop being JJ Watts favorite species.

But I don’t think we really “know” what you “mean,” Chip Kelly.

Speaking of football. It’s coming. You’re gonna need this. Download it, now.

There, that should make my editors happy. But seriously folks, it has excellent advice and guidelines to keep in mind for the looming glory of the football season.

Print it.

Tape it to your wall.

Loop this until someone with authority tells you to stop.

Till next time, keep it 100.