You probably didn’t hear. You probably didn’t care, but The Cleveland Browns and the Atlanta Falcons were viciously wrist-slapped by the Non-Profit Football league this week. #slowclap

If this is news to you then scoot on over to ESPN, Yahoo Sports, and NBC Sports Pro Football Talk for the details.

Evidently, the sidelines of an NFL game is a no-texting zone. For the 142 characters sent by Browns General Manager Ray Farmer, the Browns have to fork over $250,000 and suspend Farmer for four games…WITHOUT PAY!

Cue Dramatic Cat!

But they get to keep their draft picks because the GODDELL wants a sequel to that horrid front office snuff-film, Draftday. They must need another film in the Guantanamo Bay Movie Night rotation.

The Falcons, for the crime of “piping-in” crowd noise into the Georgia Dome during games, they have had the fiery sword of the archangel himself delivered upon them. And Lo’ the wrath of the GODDELL delivered upon them a famine taking from them $350,000 – a plague upon their house – and the loss of their first born son! (a 2016 draft pick)

Cue Dramatic Chipmunk!

Much of the twitter commentary on this news included, “wow I thought (it) was supposed to be severe.”

The 32-member teams of the Non-Profit Football League share in roughly $10 billion in revenue …EACH YEAR. This gets chopped up in a number of ways based on television money, ticket sales, and “revenue sharing.” If you want all the details on the money side of the Non-Profit Football League, check out this report on Bloomberg from 2014.

Here’s a taste of the business side of Professional Non-Profit Football:

“That leaves more than $3 billion in local, unshared revenue between the 32 teams to get to the NFL’s total of roughly $9.2 billion. Most of the local revenue comes from ticket sales, which are split 60-40 for each game between the home and visiting team. On average, each NFL team generates about $100 million in unshared money. “

In short, the “fines” are pocket change. The owners just shave a little off the chunk of cheddar they get allotted before they scurry back aboard their private jets.

So, how much is a text message worth? How much is “piped-in” crowd noise? Pennies on the dollar in the world of Professional Non-Profit Football.

The good news? Don’t worry, the Patriots aren’t likely to get pinched by the GODDELL for deflating their balls.

Till next time, King Kong ain’t got nothing on me! Follow me @Deepdfspicks.