And now’s the time on Sprockets when we dance! 

#NFLFreeAgency …well, that escalated quickly.

There are broken hearts, as reported on Bleacher Report. I feel for that little girl, she sounds genuinely heart broken. In addition to her, there are a lot of people in the “Big Easy” that are having a “Hard Time” swallowing this deal.

This is what Jimmy Graham looks like without a helmet.
This is what Jimmy Graham looks like without a helmet.

Jimmy Graham was rather respectful on Facebook. Sadly the “sAints” gave up their number one offensive weapon – a guy they franchised for the 2014 season.

Here’ a wiki article on the NFL Franchise Tag if you are having trouble falling asleep. In return, the “sAints” got a lineman and first and fourth round picks.

What no fruit basket? Did Kevin Costner negotiate THAT deal?!

Yes, I understand that by making that joke it is inferred that I actually watched Draft Day – that horrible PR-snuff-film promulgated by the billion-dollar-non-profit Football League. I feel dirty. Like really dirty. DIRTY. DIRTY!

There are broken minds surrounding the Bradford/Foles trade. I remember making these trades in middle school. They went something like this:

“Here, I’ll give you this player’s card for that player’s card. Sure, each of the cards aren’t in mint condition and there some tape on the back to keep it from tearing in half. But look on the brightside, we’ll have great fodder for our bicycle wheels.”

#micdrop

Wait, I’m not done with this column.

#micpickup

And the Rams dumped Jake Long. Hello Washington? You should probably call him. In fact you should probably start calling someone…ANY ONE! At least you picked up a big guy on defense, that no one has heard of. #meh

#facepalm

And finally pure down right insanity that would make Jerry Jones blush regarding the Revis to Jets deal. Revis avoided #FreeAgentIsland by agreeing to terms with the New York Jets. Everyone on the outside looking in marveled at the ability to time-travel as engaged in by the Jets Front Office.  Revis stands to RAKE in the $, scratch, stacks, paper, and virtually every possible word used to describe money in this deal.

The Jets? They get to pay the 29-year-old $70 million with much of the deal front loaded.

#SlowClap Mr. Revis, the force is strong with you and can I get a non-revocable gift? Jets Fans? You get to reinvigorate the “vintage” jersey market with mothballed Revis jerseys and pairs of Revis’ signature shoes. Good luck with that.

Darrelle Revis...yes, he is king of the World. Super Bowl Ring and now A BIG BANK BANK ACCOUNT.
Darrelle Revis…yes, he is king of the World. Super Bowl Ring and now A BIG BANK BANK ACCOUNT.

Here’s a good summary of the big deals that sparked a twitter-fire in my pants yesterday. I personally offer my services as a Free Agent. I don’t know what it I’d do, but I’ll take the paycheck. Cash it. Stuff it under my pillow and deal with the neck problems that are likely to ensue. I could learn to sleep on an incline.

Franchise me, NFL Owners. Look at the way I write, I’m begging for it.

 
In closing, here is a picture of gator on a golf course.

Till next time, keep your chin up, drink milk, and follow me @deepdfspicks.