Twitter broke. In fact, twitter broke me. My phone wouldn’t stop vibrating and ringing on Tuesday afternoon. The battery died on my train ride home. NFL FREE AGENCY YOU KILLED MY PHONE!!! Well, not really. It’s charging right now, but still…I blame Twitter and #NFLFreeAgency.

Get used to seeing this monster in White, Teal, and Orange. He's headed to Miami...
Get used to seeing this monster in White, Teal, and Orange. He’s headed to Miami…

Has your head stopped spinning? Here’s a quick recap:

Sam Bradford is going to Philly. Yeah, I got nothing.

Suh is going to Miami. Evidently the banks are big enough of the MASSIVE paycheck he’s getting there.

Ngata is going to Detroit. They had to sign somebody.

Owen Daniels is ….does it matter?

Jimmy Graham is going to Seattle!

Julius Thomas is going to Jacksonville. A moment of silence for his career.

Darrell Revis is going back to the Jets. No Free Agent Island for Revis.

Roy Helu (former Washington Redskins, RB) is headed to Oakland.

FRANK GORE IS GOING TO THE COLTS! Oh lord. I don’t know how to take that news. Carlos Hyde you are now in the hot seat; unless the 49ers snap up some talent in the draft.

Get all your confirmed NFL Free Agent News directly form the NFL.(Because Twitter is full of liars!)

Remember folks, every time you get a tweet about #NFLFreeAgency, a check gets cashed. And there is very likely to be further columns on this topic…VERY SOON.

And now, here’s an awkward photo you won’t be able to get out of your skull for at least 48 hours.

Just breath it in, boys. Don't make this weird. Just...SLOWER...
Just breath it in, boys. Don’t make this weird. Make eye contact. Talk about sports; make it casual.

Till next time, remember to stretch, #hashtag, and follow me @deepdfspicks.