Dear Reader,

I’m glad you’re reading this. I’m so glad you are that I plan on doing a column like this at least every week. In the following space I’m going to hit you with my dodgeballs. I’m going to try and be funny. I hope you think I’m funny. I’ve been told I’m funny…looking

So without further ado…Here is the first installment of “Dodgeballs…with Cole.”

1. Hall of Fame Quarterback Jim Kelly calls bunk on Tom Brady not knowing his balls were deflated.

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According to a story in the LA Times, Jim Kelly said there was “no way” of an equipment manager doing anything to Brady’s balls without Brady knowing about it. Add Jim Kelly to the list of grown men that know too much about Brady’s balls.

2. Ray Rice – Dismissed of Domestic Violence.

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A New Jersey Judge dismissed domestic violence charges against Ray Rice due to Rice fulfilling the term of his pretrial intervention which is interesting because Rice doesn’t usually move that fast ON THE FIELD.

3. Ronda Rousey – #ShadeThrowing

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Rousey said that the only way she’d ever fight Floyd Mayweather was if they dated. NEWSFLASH, Rousey just trolled the dick off of Floyd Mayweather. Hi-YO!

4. Ben Tate works out with the Cowboys… Should he start?

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Internet sources have recently spied Running Back Ben Tate working out with the Dallas Cowboys. This only furthers widespread suspicion that Jerry Jones is not only staffing his football team but has an affinity for stocky black men.

5. “Carmelo never had a supporting cast!”

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Two former New York Knick players, J.R. Smith and Imam Shumpert are having excellent postseasons with the Cleveland Cavaliers. I wonder if they played together somewhere before?

Till next time, I wear man-spanx.

@Deepdfspicks