Jarryd Hayne, aka THE HAYNE PLANE, had a pretty interesting debut last night. Or as the Australians like to say, debooo. He muffed the first punt that came to him and got taken off returning duties later in the game.

Other than a few jukes and a nice blitz pickup, it was a relatively unassuming night on the field for Hayne…





But that’s to be expected from a dude who literally just put on shoulder pads for the first time 5 WEEKS AGO. I imagine his play on the field will pick up but it’s what happened off the field that made his debooo so intriguing.

The Aussies are PUMPED that he’s playing in the NFL! Many traveled to San Francisco for the game and the one’s that didn’t were all tuned in online. This Australian Liveblog, where they have ZERO clue how NFL football works, is an amazing look into that fandom/international appeal.


You can read the whole thing HERE… but this is a taste of that Dundee MAGIC



Jersey Opinions are AWESOME. There is no connection to Darth Maul whatsoever I wanted it to be true so bad.

A quick word on the uniform Hayne and his team-mates will be wearing today – it’s not the classic red and gold the 49ers have worn for years, rather they’re in an all-black outfit, with flashes of red, in some kind of nod to the menace of Darth Maul. The golden helmet remains, though, and the overall effect is rather pleasing to the neutral observer.




THIS is how you draw in an audience.

Greetings, the People, Matt Cleary here, I’ll be doing my best to call the Big Game – San Francisco 49ers versus Minnesota Timberwolves (or something) – live from Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara. And it should be good. I don’t admit to knowing a motherlode about American football but I do know there’s a third-string punt returner and/or running back playing called Jarryd “Hayne Plane and/or Train” Hayne, wearer of the most famous No38 in Australian sports history. So yes, there’s been some hype.

But that’s largely because it’s such a good story. Kid from housing commission in Sydney’s west plays preternatural rugby league, buys his mum a house, has a dream, and ends up on the 53-man roster of the San Francisco 49ers, something one million American kids can’t do. How about that? If you aren’t gripped by that story you’re dead inside.

We’re moments from kick-off, the People. They’re streaming into Levi’s Stadium. Settle in. And all aboard the Hayne Plane.

Hopefully he gets on the field.




I need this guy to start announcing every game I watch ASAP.

First and 10 again … and boom! Again – the 49ers are owning this opening stanza with a 15-yard gain from a throw down the guts. They’re only 20 out. And they’re over the gain-line again. Flag! There’s a flag! Holding, offence … 10 yard penalty, so all that good stuff they did, they lose 10 yards. Naughty offenders. Offensive men.




Hayne’s first NFL play is totally grassing a punt

Funny game, National Football League. A sack! The Niners D-people celebrate like they’ve invented penicillin! The Vikings are deep and will punt, meaning…

Here’s the Hayne Plane! His first touch in the NFL. And… he drops it? Oh my goodness me, he drops it! His first touch is a fumble! He’s grassed it. Oh my.




It’s a narrative that makes no sense whatsoever and yet I cannot look away..

Ha. Well. Funny game, National Football League, our Jarryd, after a golden run through the trials has some real bullets fired at him and comes up with a fumble on a wobbly punt by the Vikings punt man. Tomsula paces the line like he’s a bear in a cage and doesn’t like it. Vikings ball. They … come up short of the line in the face of a wave of Niners D. Top D, D-men. And now we’ll have another break. Lot of breaks. No-one would get tired, this much is certain.




He isn’t biased either he calls a great game for the Vikings/Timberwolves

Righto. Here’s the Vikings and all eyes on the great man Adrian Peterson. Vikings on their 15. Teddy Bridgewater fakes to Peterson and everyone goes ‘Woah, you passed it to someone else’. And the referees said: first down, baby. First down.




Can we get the Enigma/Kangaroo Man back in the game please?

Oop, we’re back. And the 49ers have the ball. And surely now it’s time to release the man, the enigma, the rugby playing kangaroo man, Jarryd “Hayne Plane and/or Train” Hayne. What’s the worst can happen?




I don’t he likes football too much..

Niners ball. Second and eight. Carlos Hyde gets a first down with his 83rd run tonight. And it’s time for a break. One of the coaches calls a time-out, possibly, and they swap all the players over and decide to use one of the 9,000 move in the playbook, who could remember all that stuff? Who would want to? It would send a man mad. Stone crazy. The worst kind of crazy.




Goodnight, Good Afternoon, and Good On Ya!

Niners ball, still. Couple of minutes to go. Carlos Hyde again, a human battering ram. They risk using him up. He’s being bashed up like a packet of crackers. Flags? What? The crowd are making some noise, no-one knows why, not even the crowd, it’s just like a mass noise made by everyone at once, for no reason, just sporadically. Oh – that’s it! Ha. No air raid siren from 1944 London?

It’s the game. The clock is counting down. And everyone’s shaking hands! Everyone’s on the field, camera people, everyone. And there’s the siren for full-time and it’s, ha, like a fog horn from the Titanic, which is how the Vikings have fared this evening. And that’s the game, people.






PS: Best line of the night. Rock/Cage references always win.

“Kaepernick goes wide. And there’s another break. Everyone has a drink. My, there are some breaks. More breaks than Alcatraz. That’s a poor analogy. There were no breaks from Alcatraz. Or was there? Sean Connery made one in that silly film with Nicolas Cage in which Sean says: ‘Yes I will look after your Humvee,’ or something. Anyway. Niners are second and six…”