They say misery loves company and that’s why you’re likely here. You certainly aren’t here because you enjoy me, Steve Buchanan (@SBuchanan24) as a writer but more because you rostered someone in this piece. Or, maybe you’re just perfect and didn’t take anyone here and want to gloat about how smart you are to whoever is near you. Either way, I hope we can close the book on Week 9 together and in peace.

Aaron Jones ($7,000) 3.9 DKFP

The Packers really triggered me today, so I’m all on board for piling on this abysmal performance. I had a few parlays that included the Packers -3.5 so that was awesome, but enough about me.

Jones came into this game against a Chargers run defense that was ranked amongst the worst in the league, allowing an average of 27.1 DKFP. They allowed at least 116 rushing yards in three of their past four games, so why wouldn’t Jones smash in this spot where they’re favored? Well because all the Chargers were doing in this game was kicking field goals. Michael Badgley accounted for three straight field goals, giving the Chargers a thrilling 9-0 lead heading into the half. With the Packers constantly playing catchup, Jones never had the chance to get it going on the ground and would end up with just eight carries for 30 yards. Of his four targets, he made one catch for -1 yards, which you just have to laugh at.

I think Jones was easily the biggest bust on this slate. He was someone that was highly hyped up this week and rightfully so. Jones had exploded as of late and the Chargers were not a run defense that you feared. This was literally the worst outcome you could imagine. I mean truly, look at some of these clowns who had a similar outcome to Jones this week:

C.J. Ham ($3,000) 5.7 DKFP (Who the hell is this guy? Apparently he’s on the Vikings).
Mark Walton ($4,500) 7.1 DKFP (Can’t do ANYTHING with the number of touches he gets).
Trey Edmunds ($3,000) 7.3 DKFP (Outcarried Jaylen Samuels with 12 carries and 73 yards).
Ameer Abdullah ($3,000) 8.8 DKFP (Why do the Vikings have so many running backs?)

Allen Robinson ($6,800) 1.8 DKFP

So, I wasn’t personally too high on Robinson and I didn’t think he would be THAT popular, but I saw a good amount of tweets on him. Since I’m a man of the people, here he is.

I mean, I get it, going against the Eagles’ secondary with opposing receivers has become a hobby of mine this season. But, to be fair, I’m not playing every player that breathes against them. For example, the Buccaneers — who have been one of the teams to target against opposing tight ends — were facing the Seahawks. Did you hear all this chatter about Luke Willson? No, you didn’t (although playing Jacob Hollister WAS the play at TE for SEA). So Robinson, with a dope of a quarterback like Mitch Trubisky, wasn’t really a factor for me.

If you landed on him, which is looking like quite a few of you did, he was a total disaster, as was most of the Bears offense to begin with. Robinson had five targets and only came away with one catch for six yards. It was essentially the same production as Cordarrelle Patterson ($3,200), who also hauled in one catch for five yards. Except, Patterson should have days like that, not Robinson. If you can’t score on the Philly secondary who CAN you score against? Don’t play anyone with Trubisky under center, plain and simple for me.

Oh, I’d give you a list of players that outscored Robinson but it was basically everyone. Literally, everyone.

Darren Waller ($6,300) 7.2 DKFP

In a game that featured 55 points, Waller essentially ghosted the entire time, drawing a season-low three targets. Sure, he turned that into two catches for 52 yards, but who saw a 7.2 DKFP performance on the horizon? Waller has been by far the favorite target of QB Derek Carr, who looked his way an average of 8.2 times per game heading into Week 9. Waller is suddenly cooling off as he has just four catches for 66 yards over his past two weeks. It’s not even like the Lions are a strong team against opposing tight ends either, allowing double-digit fantasy production over the past five weeks.

The biggest gut-punch of them all were the top producers at this position. It was headlined by Zach Ertz ($4,700; 28.3 DKFP), who finally decided to play football again, Noah Fant ($3,000; 23.5 DKFP) who did this with a quarterback who’s been with three different franchises and never took the field during the regular season and Mike Gesicki ($2,800; 15.5 DKFP), who randomly went off for 95 yards on six catches. I promise you, he’ll never do that again.

I’m not crazy about Waller’s fortunes changing in Week 10 either, as the Raiders will draw the short week and play the Chargers on Thursday night. Against opposing tight ends, the Chargers allow an average of 10 DKFP and have only been scored upon three times. The Waller hype train could be losing its allure quickly.

My new favorite way to end the article with some tweets that didn’t make the cut but I loved anyways.

Wasn’t in on Brissett by any means but this made me laugh.

A lot to unpack here. Bill may have been better off not resetting his clocks and staying in bed this morning when making his lineups.

The offense is better without Davante Adams … come @ me.

See you all next week!