It’s the end of January, which means a couple of things:
- Mardi Gras Season rapidly approaching in New Orleans
- Mass consumption of the New Orleans-famous, diabetes-inducing King Cake
- The return of the revolting, horrifying, nightmare-haunting, soul-harvesting New Orleans Pelicans King Cake Baby mascot
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! WHY DOES THIS THING EXIST.
KILL IT WITH FIRE. IF THAT’S NOT ENOUGH STAB IT WITH A WOODEN SPIKE.
To make things worse: on Wednesday, the Pelicans official Twitter account posted this video of King Cake Baby SCARING OLD PEOPLE AT A LOCAL GROCERY STORE.
If the Pelicans are trying to get sued for delivering heart attacks to innocent pedestrians, THEY ARE DOING ONE HELL OF A JOB.
They changed the appearance of what was their equally-haunting pelican mascot last year:
So excuse my caps locks again, but, GET RID OF THIS CREATURE YOU ANIMALS. I will actively be rooting against the Pelicans until this injustice is resolved.