It’s the end of January, which means a couple of things:

  • Mardi Gras Season rapidly approaching in New Orleans
  • Mass consumption of the New Orleans-famous, diabetes-inducing King Cake

Cake Cat

  • The return of the revolting, horrifying, nightmare-haunting, soul-harvesting New Orleans Pelicans King Cake Baby mascot

Scary Baby

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! WHY DOES THIS THING EXIST.

KILL IT WITH FIRE. IF THAT’S NOT ENOUGH STAB IT WITH A WOODEN SPIKE.

To make things worse: on Wednesday, the Pelicans official Twitter account posted this video of King Cake Baby SCARING OLD PEOPLE AT A LOCAL GROCERY STORE.

If the Pelicans are trying to get sued for delivering heart attacks to innocent pedestrians, THEY ARE DOING ONE HELL OF A JOB.

They changed the appearance of what was their equally-haunting pelican mascot last year:

Pierre the Pelican before and after

Pierre the Pelican before and after

So excuse my caps locks again, but, GET RID OF THIS CREATURE YOU ANIMALS. I will actively be rooting against the Pelicans until this injustice is resolved.