Cream E. Biggums

Basketball legend Cream E. Biggums is taking part in the Celebrity All-Star Game this weekend. Will he win MVP? Will he go easy on the competition? We have some prop bets lined up predicting his performance. Here is a short documentary of his backstory, including some footage Spice Adams took of him dominating on the streets.

OVER 3.5 Total Hook Shots

Biggums is a beast in the post and his go-to move around the hoop is a hook shot. The question is, will his hamstrings be warmed up enough to get down in the paint? My hunch is yes. Biggums takes his conditioning very seriously and always stretches properly. This is seen clearly in his thorough pre-game routine.

UNDER 4.5 Airballs

We have some tape on a tryout Biggums had with the Knicks over the summer. After watching this shooting clinic, the Knicks reached out to offer him a contract. Unfortunately, contract talks stalled when the Knicks were unwilling to offer him more than a max deal. In addition to demanding to be the highest player in the league, Biggums wanted bonus incentives for jab stepping. Not signing the legend has proven to be one of the biggest errors in the history of the franchise.

Anyway, the significance of the video as it pertains to his airballs prop. I noticed that Biggums shoots with a lot of force. He has a strong base, leading to a lot of power in his jump shot. We might see a shot launched at the backboard with the force of an Aroldis Chapman fastball or hit the top of the scoreboard, but this is a man who is hitting something on every shot attempt.

UNDER 6.5 Points

I have one minor concern with Biggums’ game. I have combed through hours of him shooting online. Instagram, Twitter, YouTube and there is one common theme. None of his shots ever go in. In fact, most of them don’t come particularly close. This could pose a problem. For him to hit the over on points prop, the stat keeper is going to have to include his buckets from layup lines. Even if this is the case, I am not sure it will be enough for seven or more points. The sharp money is on the under here. Rather than scoring, I expect the Biggums’ contributions to come by the way of jab steps and step backs, so you need to really consider taking the over for those props.

OVER 0.5 Dunks

I am typically a man of math and science. There is absolutely no evidence that Biggums is able to dunk. I am not even sure he’s capable of jumping over a piece of cardboard and his vertical is best comped to Zach Randolph. My brain says no way, but my heart is leading me in another direction. Despite all video evidence showing Biggums has extreme issues with gravity when attempting to get off the ground, I think he can come through here. With the adrenaline pumping from playing in the biggest game of his career, I predict this game will end with Biggums taking off from half court like Michael Jordan at the end of Space Jam and sending in the first dunk of his career. With the made dunk, his team will still lose by 17, but the moment will be exciting and the final prop of the night will send bettors home happy. Never doubt a legend.

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