Happy Birthday to one of the most polarizing personalities to ever play in the NBA slash walk the earth. I mean I thought I had a good idea of how crazy Rodman is and then I traveled down the Youtube rabbit hole and discovered I don’t know jack. Dude is WEIRD. But such a level of weird that you really can’t hate on it (North Korea antics excluded) and almost have to tip your cap to just how far Rodman has taken it over the years. I mean he wrote a book called “I Should Be Dead By Now”…Here are some of The Worm’s greatest hits. Slam-Bangers ONLY!
1) Making an action movie with Jean Claude Van Damme and Mickey Rourke
Only important thing to remember here is my 2015 Halloween costume is already taken care of and NONE of you can claim it. Triple Razzie Award winning role. Legend
2) Crashing Into Bob Costas and Refusing To Move Quickly
Lift your foot Dennis. Dennis please lift your foot. LIFT YOUR FOOT DENNIS I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS SHIT
3) Rodman Takes Out Jordan On A Breakaway
Worm feared no man and also would have been suspended 80% of the season if he played in the NBA today
4) Weirdness Montage Including Marrying Himself and Arriving In A Casket
There are no words other than these.
5) Worm Makes Three 3’s In A Row To Win The Crowd Tacos
AND it was his birthday. NBA Jam did him dirty with his 3 Pt rating. MAKE IT RIGHT
6) Sings Happy Birthday Kim Jong-Un
Yea you know that guy that blew up his defense chief with an anti-aircraft gun? Total BFF’s with Rodzilla. Just a couple of pals that deserve each other
7) Dennis Headbutts A Referee After Getting Ejected
One time Rasheed Wallace got ejected solely by LOOKING at a ref. This is slightly more offensive
8) Refs Hate Dennis and Dennis REALLY Hates Refs
This was Rodman’s first game back after his ref-headbutt suspension. Needless to say they were not very forgiving on many calls. Luckily Rodman doubled down on being a complete bastard and gave it right back to em.
9) Rodman Vs. Malone + Rodman/Hulk Hogan VS. Malone/Diamond Dallas Page
During Jordan’s last hurrah with the Bulls Rodman/Malone had a lot of scraps. In the ’98 Finals pretty much every game was like this. A week after the Finals ended Rodman and Malone meet at the BASH AT THE BEACH where nWo (Rodman wrestled more than once and is an actual member of nWo) emerged victorious. What a world. Also shout out to Karl Malone, sneaky biggest dirtbag to ever play in NBA without anyone ever talking about it.
10) Rodman’s Ten Best Fights Including Bird, Iverson, Shaq
There you have it that should satisfy your Dennis Rodman intake for the next 364 days. I leave you with this quote to make you really question everything you just experienced…Happy Birthday Worm!
“I just took the chance to be my own man … I just said: ‘If you don’t like it, kiss my ass.’ … Most people around the country, or around the world, are basically working people who want to be free, who want to be themselves. They look at me and see someone trying to do that … I’m the guy who’s showing people, hey, it’s all right to be different. And I think they feel: ‘Let’s go and see this guy entertain us.” -Dennis Rodman