Do not mourn the fallen, my friends, there is still plenty of Hoops to be had! For the Krakens and Golden Roses, however, their time in this realm has drawn nigh. Let’s dive into the recaps of Round 1 action as the Greyjoys and Tyrells fade ever so slowly into the Hall of Faces…

Did you miss all the action yesterday? Read the Round 1 Matchup Breakdowns HERE


Things looked grim for the Direwolves from the tip-off with Jon Snow ($10,400) unable to play in the first half due to severe cramping. Although her eligibility was heavily disputed in the pre-game warmups, Meera Reed ($4,900) was allowed to suit up for the Wolves after a closed door hearing with Commissioner Littlefinger. Despite the solid play of Reed and an absolutely dominant performance on the glass by Hodor ($4,700), the Wolves still found themselves down 45-52 at halftime.

Theon Greyjoy ($7,200) was slicing through the lane like his old self and getting buckets seemingly at will. He was also two rebounds shy of a triple-double when the halftime buzzer sounded, but unfortunately for Theon and the Krakens, nothing in Westeros is decided that quickly. When the second half begun, Theon immediately drew a shooting foul and went to the line… and that’s where it all went bad. After swishing the first shot, Theon seemed to gaze past the basket in a frightened state. He began trembling, whimpering, crying out strange requests and absolutely refusing to move. It ended up being the only point the Krakens scored in the 2nd half due to a complete mental breakdown by every Greyjoy on the court. Once the hashtag #REEKYOUREEK started trending on ravens everywhere after the game, it was clear what had occured… Ramsey Bolton ($11,700) had finally shown up to his courtside seats. He wanted to watch.

Next Game: (4) Stark Direwolves at (1) White Walkers


The Golden Rose’s team motto may be “Growing Stronger,” but perhaps they should be looking to plant some younger seeds for next season. It’s never easy to win in Westeros but especially when your top two players, Lady Olenna ($3,700) and Mace Tyrell ($3,100), are older than the catacombs beneath the court. Their age and fatigue showed, but they did get a boost from Loras Tyrell ($5,200) who got every hustle point possible. The real MVP of course was Margaery Tyrell ($9,300) who took it to Cersei Lannister ($9,800) on every drive she could. Her 44 points were a new first round record, but, unfortunately, Queen Tyrell needed 46.

With the game tied in the final minute, things looked bleak for the Lions. The Golden Roses had roared back from a 13 point deficit and seemed destined for an upset victory. Everyone inside King’s Landing Court expected mischief, but what they actually got was a legitimate go ahead bucket from Jaime Lannister ($5,200) who finished 1-26 on the day. With 5 seconds to go Margaery blew past Cersei and drew a controversial foul against Tyrion Lannister ($6,900). His stumbling feet couldn’t stay outside the restricted circle, so there was no offensive charge to be had. With Margaery at the line (a career 91 percent FT shooter) overtime seemed all but a guarantee. However, when the first shot clanked off the back rim, the stadium erupted like they had just won the Iron Throne, and the “SHAME” chants rained down from the bleachers. Margaery couldn’t bear to even attempt the second shot and the Golden Roses fell 85-87 to the Lions. When asked about the Queen Tyrell’s failure after the game, Cersei said this to the scribes:

“And that is why little doves are little doves my good lords. When you play the Game of Hoops you win or you lose, there is no middle ground. Also I’d like to make it clear once again that she is NOT my sister, never will be, and I think her hair is quite tacky.”

Next Game: (3) Lannister Lions at (2) Targaryen Dragons