Last night Pedro Alvarez did best Giancarlo Cruz Michael Stanton impression and decided to have zero regard for the life of a baseball. Alvarez went McCovey Cove all over everyone’s ass and smacked a homer over 450 feet RIGHT into the Allegheny River. Although technically it didn’t land in the river…it casually found it’s way into some random boat. Unfortunately the owner wasn’t around which meant there was an empty boat surrounded by Pirates. TIME. TO. PILLAGE.

Why are the baseballs always gone? Mainly it’s because of Pedro’s big ol bat but all the thirsty pirates out there are a close second