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Kmarko is a contributor at Barstool Sports. Check out his Daily MLB Picks column here.

Welcome back to week 2 of our daily Barstool DraftKings blog. Seinfeld fans may have heard of Rochelle Rochelle, a young girl’s strange erotic journey from Milan to Minsk, well this is my slightly less erotic but just as interesting journey trying to turn a little extra blog money into getting rich playing daily fantasy sports. Mixed results so far.

Week 1 was, as to be expected, a bit of a roller coaster. Night one had me feeling like this was going to be a piece of cake, taking home like 400 bucks cash, thennn had 3 straight days of duds. Frustrating lineups too – either pitchers going lights out while my hitters went 0-4 with 4 Ks, or half my lineup going deep while my pitchers got rocked. Take last Friday night for example:

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In what world is Matt Harvey only getting 11 points against the Phillies? How can three of my guys (Donaldson, Peralta and Colabello) go deep in their first at bat of the game, at like 7:20 PM, then at 11 PM I still have the same amount of points from my hitters? (Oh almost forgot about the Kole Calhoun single, thanks Kole, great contribution).

Slowly starting to realize how hard this is going to be…no clue how the experts can consistently win at this stuff and do it professionally. All I know is, I ain’t one of them.

Anyway let’s see who we like for tonight, I got a good feeling about this week. Let’s try to cash a couple then enter a big money tournament for a big slate later this week. As usual I’ll give you my favorite pitcher of the night and my favorite big money, mid-range, and value bat of the night, and hopefully not as usual, they’ll actually put their bats on the ball tonight.

Net Winnings: +$156

Tonight’s tournament: $160K Payoff Pitch ($27 Entry)

PITCHER I’M LOCKED IN ON

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Gerrit Cole $8.9K

Going back to the Phillies well. Sure they lit up my boy Harvey, but in my mind that was their 1 fluke of the month. Got it all out of their system and they’re ready to go back to being a glorified minor league lineup (not even really glorified I guess now that I think about it). Cole can get you 10Ks without a breaking a sweat, and also won’t break your bank like Scherzer or Greinke will tonight.

Possible #2s: Greinke obviously if you’re spending $$, Jacob DeGrom for big K upside, Shelby Miller (watch out for rain)

BIG MONEY BAT

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OF Bryce Harper $5.6K

Total n00b pick. Whatever. Ask me if I care. Like I said, I’m not some pro out here trying to dazzle everybody with my super off the board contrarian picks. Just trying to pick the guy putting up Xbox and PlayStation numbers out here every night, facing off against Josh Collmenter. 6 homers in his last 4 games, and just missed a 7th yesterday. You try to get tricky and fancy, I’ll take Bryce.

Other $$ guys on my radar: Ryan Braun, Freddie Freeman

MID RANGE BAT

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3B Evan Longoria $4.2K

Been hot lately which is one of the main things I look for, and get this: his career numbers against CC Sabathia are the stuff fantasy erections are made out of. .414 lifetime (24 for 58) and 14 of those 24 are extra base hits. Yes fourteen. 6 are homers. A freaking 1.39 OPS. Sure Longo will hit you with a dud just when you need him the most, but coming from a guy who got a C- in calculus in college, I know numbers, and those numbers are awesome.

Other mid-range guys on my radar: Joc Pederson, Gregory Polanco, Adam Jones

VALUE BAT

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C Stephen Vogt $3.7K

A super cheap guy who fills the catcher spot and has 2 HR upside every game…playing a Red Sox pitcher. Yes please.

Other cheap guys on my radar: Jung Ho Kang, Devon Travis, Marcus Semien

That’s it for today, good luck tonight, let’s get rich. Leave me your tips/plays of the night on Twitter @kmarkobarstool, if I use them I’ll split my winnings with you. Ha just kidding, I will definitely shot you out on the blog though, you tell me what’s more valuable.

Oh and if I didn’t make it clear enough, I’m not an expert. Just some thoughts and picks for the common man by the common man. As such I strongly advise against just grabbing all my daily picks and sticking them in a team like some people have been tweeting me. If I was good enough to pick an entire team of locks every night I’d be playing professionally and not blogging for you assholes.