Everyone knows Philadelphia is full of raging Phanatics that straight up HAMMER people. Opposing fans, media members, their own fans, their own team, anyone that’s on earth; they are a fearless Gang for sure. Although it appears their one weakness may have been discovered this past weekend. Flying Squirrel…I CHOOSE YOU

 

 

INCOMING!!!

 

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OH GOD HE’S TRYING TO KISS CHASE! IT SHOULD BE ME OUT THERE SOMEBODY STOP THIS GUY!!!

 

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And guess what? Lil dude snuck into a crawlspace near the media camera well, which means this saga is FAR from over. #Squirrelgate will likely end up being the most exciting storyline of the entire Phillies season. At least until I jump from a foul ball net onto Chase with my Greenman outfit on in full glory. That’ll be so damn magical.