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Today in “Only things you’d read in Los Angeles…” hip-hop/fashion mogul & shitty Vodka creator Sean “P. Diddy” Combs was arrested for an intense altercation with a UCLA Assistant Football Coach over the treatment of his son, Defensive Back Justin Combs, during practice.

Per TMZ:

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P. Diddy has been arrested for allegedly getting into a fight with a football coach at UCLA … where his son is on the team, TMZ Sports has learned.

We’re told Campus Police took the music mogul into custody early Monday afternoon. Diddy’s son, Justin Combs, is a defensive back on the team. We’re told the fight went down at the UCLA athletic facility.

One source says an assistant coach was screaming at Justin on the field during a strength and conditioning session. We’re told the coach “was riding Justin, screaming intensely at him.” Diddy watched the whole thing from the sideline.

At some point later, we’re told Diddy confronted the coach in his office and grabbed him. Diddy was arrested for assault.

A source connected with Diddy tells TMZ Diddy himself initially wanted to call police, but the phone was taken out of his hands.

Diddy is still in custody at the campus jail.
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And now, as I write this, we’ve learned that Diddy was arrested for FELONY ASSAULT with a deadly weapon — as he allegedly attacked the coach with a “kettlebell weight”!!!!!

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This is … well … kinda bad. You don’t attack someone with a kettlebell weight unless you have intentions of splattering their head all over the ground.

Totally on P. Diddy’s side here: How DARE this peasant assistant coach attempt to do his job and teach/discipline/motivate the child of a one-percenter in the city of Los Angeles like that! Disgraceful! Poor heathens who do not drive $300,000 Phantoms should know their roles in this country. Ugh.

In all seriousness: I would have loved to have seen Puff Daddy (5’0″ in heels) try to attack a Division One College Football STRENGTH AND CONDITIONING COACH (whose job is to pretty much get as swole as humanly possible and intimidate players into getting stronger) with an object half his body weight. I imagine Diddy’s effort going as well as if Berman from Little Giants ever attempted to swing Thor’s battle axe.

What makes this story even better is that the guy Diddy went after is Sal Alosi. Ring a bell?

HE WAS THE CRAZY JETS COACH WHO PURPOSELY TRIPPED (and ultimately hurt) NOLAN CARROLL DURING THAT INFAMOUS PUNT RETURN VERSUS THE DOLPHINS!!!

Maybe Sal deserved it? Who knows, we need to see the video to have a real opinion/determine who was at fault.

Following the incident, Head Coach Jim Mora said in a press release this afternoon: “I’m thankful that our staff showed the level of professionalism that they did in handling this situation. This is an unfortunate incident for all parties involved.  While UCPD continues to review this matter, we will let the legal process run its course and refrain from further comment at this time.” 

If one’s things for sure: Sean Combs is a BAD BOY FOR LIFE, baby! Taking the saying “The City of Broken Dreams” to a whole new level…

P.S. The thought of P. Diddy sitting in a “campus jail” with a bunch of underage drunk kids who got caught drinking on campus/trying to sneak into the dining hall is one of few things I would pay my entire bank account to see in person. I imagine him sitting in the dungeons of UCLA, like Cersei in Game of Thrones, wallowing in filth/inhaling lower class air, screaming for his lawyer, and Mora just standing over him saying “Confess”.

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